This past Monday night I sat in a lounge/restaurant with two of the most hilarious phenomenal people I know and laughed. I laughed harder than I’ve laughed in what feels like a really long time.
Something about the laughter, the great food, and the drinks, the fact that it was a Monday night and that these two awesome women were by my side made the craziness I’ve been feeling surrounding me lately, simply go away. It was like our presence plus the laughter and great queso dip made the crazy stress say “alright I’ll go away”.
One simple beautiful moment of freedom
I think that I’m guilty of half the stress I am experiencing. And let me tell you why. It’s not because I do too much (kinda) or that I don’t know how to balance my time. It’s because I’ve been allowing myself to sink so deep, so so so deep into every negative emotion that I’ve hardly been able to enjoy the truly beautiful moments.
I’ve been stressed from the moment I stepped back into class in August, but I assume that because I’m over-involved, am a senior, and projected to be on her way to greatness that I cannot show weakness for one single second, and that my friends, is so very stressful.
I’ve been sad, I’ve had my heart broken this semester, and you’d think it gets easier but it really really doesn’t.
I’ve been angry, finally after so long of letting things slide I realized that I can be angry and how to be angry but now it’s so simple to be angry and I’m passionate about way more than I thought I was and I get angry (because I care) about way more than I thought I would.
I’ve been self-conscious. Gaining weight instead of losing weight when you’re trying to lose weight is such a downer, and I’m not getting into the whole confidence self-image talk right now but it is stressful and anxiety-inducing to have your body changing into a shape that you’re finally strong enough to love but you’re just not there yet.
And all of this I say not to solicit pity or sympathy or attention…but to be honest and express the fact that this, ALL of the above, has contributed to a chronic funk that has BARELY allowed me to truly enjoy my last fall semester of my undergraduate career.
So when I cam across this quote, by who I’m not sure (thanks Pinterest) It made me stop, and realize this all over again.
You have to STOP and collect the beautiful moments.
I’ve had a few beautiful moments this semester.
- Learned how to help people register to vote
- Started my 3rd year tutoring some phenomenal kids in Asheville
- Started my Senior thesis (not always beautiful but it’s on something I care about)
- Finally had the courage to get highlights (took like 2 years ya’ll, I’m not a very good rebel)
- Wrote my first newspaper article
- Turned 21
- Went on an amazing date
- One an award that led me to meet other people working to change the world and make a difference.
- Grown closer to people because our time together consistently is winding down.
So, I say all of this to say, that life is full of beautiful moments we don’t stop to collect often enough. We lie and wallow and swim in the depths of negativity before we choose to do the same in positivity. And why? Because it’s easier? That makes no sense. Negativity just makes things harder. I suppose we’re wired that way though, the more stress the more we wallow.
I’m not saying to not be stressed, that’s impossible, especially in this day and age, I’m saying take a moment, at least once each week and collect the beautiful moments you didn’t bother to collect as they were happening.
That laughter, that margarita, and queso dip made me feel freer than I’ve felt in a while. But that was just one moment. One of many that have happened, and many that will happen. So just don’t forget to pause. You never know how free you can truly feel until you do.